Story Month: Day 2: A Complaint

"I have a complaint," said Old Man Magiggin, "Someone's buttered my scone!"
"There's nothing I can do," said Mr. Pottomus, "Take your complaint to the complaint office."
So he did.
"I have a complaint," said Old Man Magiggin, "Someone's buttered my scone!"
"Well sir," said the clerk, "You'll have to fill out 70 pages of paperwork if you want to file your complaint."
Magiggin grinned, "Fool, I am a professional paperworker!" He grabbed the stack of papers and with speed and dexterity filled them out in a flash. The finished stack sat on the clerk's desk as he stared in awe.
"Alright..." he said, "Then you'll have to wait four to six weeks for your complaint to be processed and-"
"Fool," Magiggin exclaimed, "I am a professional waiter! I can outwait any man and any situation!"
And he did.
Four to six weeks later, his complaint had been filed and he was ready to schedule an appointment.
"Have you been standing out in the rain for four to six weeks?" asked the clerk.
"I am the rain," he replied.
"Okay... well you'll have to schedule an appointment for your complaint hearing. Do you have a lawyer?"
"Fool, I am a layer. The best lawyer. I will escort myself."
The clerk rolled his eyes, "Alright then sir, how's next Thursday?"
"No time would be better."
"A simple yes would suffice, sir."
"Don't backtalk me! Only I can backtalk me! I will see you then."
Mr. Magiggin went to his home and enjoyed his unbuttered scones for the next five days. Finally, the moment had arrived. He walked to the courthouse wearing boots and a pigtail.
"Oh my God...! Sir, you cannot come to the courthouse naked!" The justice attempted to protest, but Magiggin stopped him.
"No, it is you who is naked."
And so he was.
The justice ran out of the courthouse as the judged approached the bench.
"I have come here today because my scone was unjustly buttered," Magiggin proclaimed.
"So you have," said the judge, "I have read your complaint and I can say that it is probably the most justified and genuine complaint I have ever heard." The judge stroked his beard as he continued, "However, I will need proof of the culprit before I can dish out justice."
"The culprit was you," said Magiggin, "You buttered the scone."
The jury gasped.
The judge was taken aback as he came to the realization, "So I did. I buttered your scone. You have every right to complain. Who am I to butter another's scone? Justice must be served!" He turned to the guard, "Guard, arrest me on one count of scone buttering!"
The judge was taken in.
Magiggin was pleased.
He went home to enjoy an unbuttered scone.
His last scone had been eaten.
It was time to file a complaint.